Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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