Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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