can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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