used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
