I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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