Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
