I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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