I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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