maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was born a porn star she said
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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