I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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