I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
