Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize