My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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