I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
