If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
