She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
