last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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