he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize