I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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