Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
