Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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