im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
