community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
