i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize