Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
