YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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