I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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