Porn is love you can see.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
