On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
