I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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