Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
