wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
