why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
