did you get engaged???
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize