So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize