That's intense
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
