I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
