Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
