one might say we're banned from that church
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
