just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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