If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
