He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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