so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
