I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
