She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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