I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
