I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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