i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
