PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
