I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
