im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
