i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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