considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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