I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
