I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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