the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
no you cant smoke seaweed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
