i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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