He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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