No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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