It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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