I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
