3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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