I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
