I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
